In the last module, we explored how when our self-esteem and belonging needs are not met, we operate from a state of deficiency. Our productivity becomes suffocated. We limit ourselves. Reaching our goals and realizing our true potential seems unlikely, if not impossible.
In this post, I want to talk about another reason we may not reach our goals and be as productive as we could be: How we handle failure.
Let me begin by saying that we will all fail at some point, and anyone who tells you that you can do anything worthwhile and avoid failure is lying to you.
Learning anything new, attempting to start a new career, pushing yourself to do more than you have before — it all comes with the risk of failure.
Failure is simply what happens when we are challenging ourselves to do more. Avoiding failure, on the other hand, will keep us exactly where we are right now.
If we want to reach our goals and move beyond where we are right now, we cannot avoid failure, but we can change our attitude toward it and use it for our benefit.
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I have adopted some simple principles that serve me very well. I’ve done some things that certain others
viewed as “failure”, such as when I had a store-front business while in college in the late 1960s. The owner
I bought it from misrepresented his financial results, which led to my discovering later that the business
could not reach what I wanted.
But the experience saved me from a LOT of bad deals since because I discovered a simple way to test the
feasability of any proposed enterprise. But the killer of failure is simply understanding: “You have not
have not failed when the value of the experience exceeds the cost of getting it.” And the second principle
is there is a big difference between failing in business and owning a business that failed.”
When I abandoned my TV service business back then and I’d been running it while also in college, my
market analysis made it clear that the entire trade area, if I had the whole thing to myself (4000 square
miles, population about 40,000), there wasn’t enough business for me alone, and I had EIGHT
competitors!
It has been a huge benefit in the 50-plus years since then.
I’m fearless. I’ve done many big things that are widely considered impossible. Even the home I built
starting in 1975. I was making $1200/month with a wive and five children. It ended up being 8,300
square feet (1/5 acre of floors!!!) and I did it ALL, except laying the carpet. The man living i n it now
says what I did is totally impossible, but he is very fond of it, and the quality of workmanship (first house
I ever built). His a contractor and used to be a construction project manager in his dad’s company
building large reltail buildings such as Walmarts, Sam’s Clubs, Best Buy stores, etc. He even comes to
me for advice when he wants to add improvements to what I did, and wants to keep following my long-
term vision I had decades ago.
My wife and I raised nine children, have 16 grandchildren, 10 great-grandchildren, and with 8 married,
there are 45 people in our family. Some of our children are exceptionally successful professionally
and otherwise, and in ten days, we’ll be married 53 years.
And in the middle of that, I worked for Hewlett-Packard for 30 years, most of the first 10 as a technical
staff engineer, and 20 as a senior technical writer, top rank in a staff of 45 writers in four locations
across the US.
And there are several impossible things I pulled off while working at HP. Stuff that some managers were
convinced could not be done — that even four full-time engineers couldn’t do in 4 months. I did that,
plus very much else by myself in six weeks and saved the company from a marketing disaster.
I don’t want to sound boastful, but it’s the truth.
The secret is knowing what you’re doing, and being able to come up with unusual ways to approach
very difficult challenges, and find a way to make it come together successfully.
Important: Before taking on a difficult undertaking, make a good decision about who you’re NOT going
to listen to for advice. And pay attention to what others do, what works, what doesn’t, and why. Be always.
learning. One big advantage for me was I can’t play sports. I’m genetically unable to run any distance at
all. A minor eye problem causes me to have inadequate depth-perception so I can’t function in fast
games like baseball and I can’t hit baskets for the same reason. That meant the time I wasn’t with my
buddies at sports practice, I was home making things, trying ideas, working on the farm, and doing what
had to be done.
And I cut out a LOT of TV time, and I don’t do video games. And I didn’t tell my kids what they have to do
or what career path they must follow. They picked their own. But they’re all solid citizens and good
people with good reputations.
And pursue the things that bring joy and happiness into your life and family. Money’s nice, bit it’s not
as important as some think.